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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Not an Asian's LiveJournal:
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| Saturday, October 17th, 2009 | | 6:17 am |
The thing I regret most in life is that I'll never be a cast member on Road Rules during the 90's. And although I wouldn't want to be on what passes as road rules or real world nowadays, it's kind of SUPER depressing that I'm too old to audition for them anyway. |
| Saturday, May 9th, 2009 | | 12:39 pm |
I don't think I've had one dream about flying since I went skydiving. That sucks because it was actually fun in my dreams. Recurring dreams lately have been being late for work, late for a flight, and being in the back to the future movies. Recently downloaded Beyonce's Sasha Fierce album and jesus christ it's fucking fantastic! A straight up classic in every way. I used to hate with Beyonce with a passion, but this record puts her in a Lauryn Hill light. Still not giving her movies a chance, though. I don't care how much hype they get. |
| Thursday, May 7th, 2009 | | 6:38 pm |
Now I can cross 'Be In A Montage' off my list of things to do before I die. |
| Friday, March 27th, 2009 | | 5:47 pm |
If a bartender can cut someone off when they're too drunk, a mcdonald's clerk should be able to cut someone off when they're too fat. Fuck it. Make it illegal to serve a 300 lb man a hamburger. |
| Thursday, March 26th, 2009 | | 5:22 pm |
This decade can't do fantasy.
I'm super fucking excited about the Where the Wild Things Are movie. The trailer looks great. Then again, I'm feeling really anxious about it. I have a feeling they're gonna pull some Big Fish or Pan's Labyrinth bullshit. Ie, fill the trailer with the fantasy elements of your film, and then when people see the movie they'll realize it's 90% boring real life shit and they saw all the cool fantasy parts in the trailer. If I want to see a movie about the Spanish civil war, I'll go see one. If I want to see a movie about a dying old man, I'll go see one. Hell, I'd probably enjoy seeing either, but not when you fucking sell it to me by making it look like a fantasy flick in the trailer! It's been done time and time again this decade by so many flicks. I pray this is something that changes in the next decade. What the fuck is wrong with a purely fantasy movie? Why do we have to have a real life aspect of the story that supposedly mirrors what's going on in the fantasy part of the story, and then let that bullshit eat up 90% of the running time when you know god damn well that isn't what people came to see? Why the fuck can't Max just wake up in his bed at the end of the movie with a hot plate of food next to him? People take shit too seriously sometimes. Maybe we'll get some fun, light people making movies soon. We won't have to bring things down 20 notches and make everything into a god damn sob fest every time the main character starts having too much fun. Like the Wizard of Oz would've been any good if dorothy had been in kansas for most of the movie dealing with adolescence and farm life, and then escaping into oz every time the story started to drag? No! It would've been boring as fuck and people would've forgotten about it in less than ten years. Please let this one be different. |
| Saturday, February 14th, 2009 | | 1:20 am |
Drunk Post.
Take me down to the paradise city, where the girls are drunk and they got big titties. I just got drunk at the shittiest redneck karaoke bar with cody. It was on a dock. Not even mad. Came home. About to dig into a tub of raspberry sorbet that I bought last week and forgot I had. And then I'm gonna play myst. See how well I can solve puzzles when I'm a little hammered. I need a new zelda buddy. I like playing zelda with other people. I haven't even beat twilight princess yet. I played with ryann when we together, but of course we're not on speaking terms. Then I played with jeremy for a while, but he moved to chicago. Ugggh. I wanna beat this game. I haven't played it since I lived in acworth. I love my life. Seriously. Happiest dude on earth right here! I can't think of a thing I want or need. Just straight up content as hell. Could use someone to talk to sometimes, but I can just talk to myself if everyone's busy. |
| Sunday, February 8th, 2009 | | 4:25 pm |
I hate when people pull drugs out in front of me. I feel like it's so fucking rude. I can't tell you how many times I've gone over to a friend's house and while we're hanging out they just pull out some weed or yeyo and go at it right in front of me. Maybe because I'm a pretty liberally minded person with self-indulgent tendencies they think I'm cool with open drug use. Call me old-fashioned, but I feel like if you're gonna be a drug user, have some god damn discretion. Snort your coke in the bathroom stall like a legitimate low-life would. I mean fuck, they didn't even do that shit in the 70's. Or maybe it's the lack of manners that gets to me, like chewing with your mouth open. Would it really kill someone to ask "Do you mind if I smoke a bowl while we watch law & order reruns?" Or give me a heads up like "Come hang out, Craig! By the way, we'll be face down in a mound of cocaine by the time you get here." When I have people over, I always ask if they mind me drinking, even if it's just one beer. Or I let them know I'm drinking if they call and want to come over. Where's all the well-brought up drug users and why aren't I feeling awkward hanging out with them instead? |
| Monday, February 2nd, 2009 | | 1:18 am |
For the past few months I've been really stressed out thinking about what the hell I'm gonna do with myself whenever either of my parents die. I'm getting to the age where people's parents are dying, and I seriously don't understand how they go on. Such a large piece of me will be buried with my father. I'll never be the same after that. My dad's had this ring with a diamond embedded in a stone that he always wore when I was kid. He bought it when he moved to georgia. He gave it to me the other day. Said "I was gonna wait til I was dead to give it to you, but I figured 'why wait?'" It meant a lot to me. I'm not really a jewelry kind of guy, but I am sentimental. It meant a lot to me. I think a lot about being the oldest son and it being my duty to have a son and pass on the family name. The older I get, the better my relationship with them becomes and the more I dread about losing them. I have a finite number of days left with them in my life, and I'm panicking while I'm watching them blow away like sand. |
| 1:03 am |
I traded my conscience and soul to the devil for a bottle of whiskey and blues guitar lessons. I'd probably steal candy from a baby if I had a taste for sweets. I'm trying to figure out when I became such a god damn sadist. |
| Saturday, January 3rd, 2009 | | 2:22 pm |
I've been absent from blogging partially because I'm tired of contributing to the white noise. We were raised to believe that everyone is "special in their own way," but that's not true at all. Some people are worthless or boring or pathetic or plain or pointless or stupid or uncreative or unpleasant or whatever. We were raised with this feel-good bullshit that we were all worth something just for being us, so you've got this entire generation that feels entitled simply for being born. You've got girls on youtube that post video blogs about eating eggs for breakfast. You've got people you knew from high school letting everyone on facebook know that they're bored. You've got friends on myspace posting a survey like they're being interviewed for fucking rolling stone, and like the world gives a shit what their favorite color is. You've got me posting on livejournal about how all that bothers me. You work hard, you establish yourself, you prove yourself, you earn something, and then people give a shit about what you think. And those people will come to you- you won't have to publish it yourself. But we all think we're so special that everyone has to have their own space on the internet to broadcast their opinions and feelings and daily updates like they're the star of their own truman show. At least it's not as bad as the 90's when you had to create your own website to be heard. Now we've lumped together all of the crap on the web on social networking sites. So that's part of the reason. The other part is, who the fuck am I? Christopher Columbus? Why the hell do I need a written record of my daily goings on? One day I'll die and everyone I've ever known will die and the livejournal servers will be thrown in the trash and I'll just be forgotten. We'll all be forgotten eventually. I exist because I was born and I've got nothing better to do. Living for the sake of living. I'll enjoy my time here, love my loved ones, be a friend to my friends, see as much of this world as I can, then die and be forgotten. I'm not afraid that I'll be forgotten and I'm done laboring under the delusion that I won't be. Most people that have ever lived have been forgotten. The most I hope for is that my skeleton will be preserved well enough to give archeologists 5,000 years from now some insight into human biology of the 21st century, but I'm not counting on it. Have fun and leave a good looking corpse. It's really that simple. I'm tired of talking about myself and I think life would be much more enjoyable when you're stripped of your ego and narcissism. I stay in close enough contact with out of town friends that a blog isn't really necessary. If anything, it hinders me from keeping in touch with distant friends because they just read my blog instead of calling or writing. So if anyone's really that interested in keeping up with me, my email addy is craigaschwab@gmail.com and I'd gladly give you my phone number or meet up for a drink, because I'm just as interested to know what's going on with you. And if picking up the phone or writing an email is too much work, sorry, bub. Enjoy the rest of your life and maybe we'll meet again in the next one. Although, I'm sure I'll be back from time to time to rant. And I'm keeping the myspace and facebook active, because you may as well not have a cellphone if you're not gonna have a social networking profile these days. And I'm not an old man. Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash |
| Thursday, November 27th, 2008 | | 11:23 am |
"Go ahead and get the shower now, mom. You're gonna be late." "Go to hell, your highness." "Don't bring your video game to thanksgiving, aaron." "Why?" "Cause you're gonna be in the basement playing video games the whole time." "Don't tell me what I'm gonna fuckin do." "Don't get back together with her." "Why?" "Because she's just gonna cheat on you again." "You have no fucking clue, man!" Own your faults, people. Subscribe to my attitude. "So you're gonna be an hour late to the party, aren't you, craig?" "Yeah, but when I finally do get there we're gonna have a great time!" Failure to acknowledge your shortcomings and integrate them into your self-image is a failure to understand who you really are. Fun house mirrors not only distort your reflection, but also the way you view your surroundings. Recognize who you really are and the world around you, and your part in it, will become crystal clear. |
| Monday, November 24th, 2008 | | 2:52 am |
I'm tired of this winter scratchy throat. This weekend I'm drinking a bottle of whiskey and getting rid of this shit. |
| Saturday, November 22nd, 2008 | | 8:03 am |
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| Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 | | 5:47 pm |
willitblend.com This guy puts random shit in a blender and sees if it will blend. Not just food- electronics, jewels, you name it. Guy has no tv personality, but the show delivers on its premise. It's hard to find a good blender, and I gotta say that I'm totally sold on Blendtec now. |
| Wednesday, November 12th, 2008 | | 12:25 am |
How I would fix the gay marriage issue: Take the legal status of marriage away from heterosexuals, as well. Have the government grant only civil unions to couples of any sexual orientation. Let your church work out it's own policies on marriage. It astounds me that so many black people are anti-gay rights. Absolutely astounds me. |
| Tuesday, November 11th, 2008 | | 7:42 pm |
A lot of blog worthy things have happened lately, but I just can't bring myself to chronicle most of it. I'm torn between wanting to document every meaningful moment to save & keep in perfect condition to pull out and adore later in all its detail, but not wanting to trivialize those moments and turn them into souvenir snow globes. Also, as I mentioned in the previous post, I've felt so very different lately, and a symptom of that seems to be an urge to remove all clutter from my life (especially odd, considering how cluttered of a person I've always been). And although I originally intended for my livejournal to keep these memories safe for when I have alzheimer's, I look back over the entries and realize it's nothing more than emotional clutter. Most of the entries don't even spark any feelings in me when I read them. No matter how precisely I detail every moment, I can't capture the feeling. It's like trying to capture the taste of an apple by painting it. I can't even relate to most of my own words about my own life. Terribly sad. I don't think the moments were important. The feelings were. And though I may forget the events that sparked them, I'll always carry the feelings with me. When Oma lost her memories to alzheimer's, she was still Oma. The memories didn't make her who she was. Going through those things made her into the woman she'd become, and that transcends the memories. I am who I am. Even if I don't remember eating a meal, I still grew from consuming the food. Plus, the more detail I put in my blog, the less it seems to capture me. This really isn't who I am. Anyone who knows me well will tell you the me in real life and the me portrayed in my blog are two very different people. And it makes me look really two-faced. If all I knew of myself was what makes it into my blog, I wouldn't like me either. We'll call this 'part 1.' Tomorrow I'll write an entry about the pro's of my blogging and continue to elaborate. |
| Saturday, November 8th, 2008 | | 5:21 pm |
I talked with terry today and we've both noticed that everyone's been acting really weird. We think something's in the water. It's like we're all acting like alternate versions of ourselves. Maybe we're in a weird lunar cycle. I don't know, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who's noticed. EVERYONE's acting weird. Not like themselves. I think that's why so many people have been breaking up lately. I've even noticed it in myself in a lot of ways. I want different thins all of a sudden. I feel differently about a lot of things. I'm not sure how to describe it. Some sort of bodysnatchers thing. One particular change I've noticed: I have been adamant about not wanting to live with animals for a long time. I was sick of it. I wanted a dog or a ferret, but I wouldn't get one because I knew I wasn't in a place to take that kind of responsibility or to be tied down like that and not be able to take spontaneous trips. But now I want a dog. I want a well bred husky puppy. I would name her Sonya Blade. I would take the best care of her. I would take her to doggy school. I would feed her the healthiest foods. I would brush her every day and exercise with her. We would go to my dad's pasture and play for hours. We would swim in lakes together and have fun on the beach. I would take her everywhere with me! We would be inseparable. I would only go to restaurants and stores where I could take her with me. I have no need to go anywhere my Sonya can't. I want the thought of Sonya and I to be so synonymous that people can't imagine one without the other. I would love her so much. We would go on road trips together. We would go to parks all the time. People would tell me how beautiful she is, and I would tell them "I know." If she wasn't allowed to sit on the furniture, I'd sit on the floor with her. Oh what a pair we would be, my sonya and me. If I had to get a boy, I'd name him McFly. And so I've been listening to "The Puppy Song" non-stop. Dreams are nothing more than wishes and a wish is just a dream you wish to come true, woo woo If only I could have a puppy I'd call myself so very lucky just to have some company to share a cup of tea with me I'd take my puppy everywhere La, la, la-la I wouldn't care and we would stay away from crowds and signs that said no dogs allowed oh we, I know he'd never bite me whoa de lo....... we, I know he'd never bite me If only I could have a friend to stick with me until the end and walk along beside the sea share a bit of moon with me I'd take my friend most everywhere La, la, la-la I wouldn't care we would stay away from crowds with signs that said no friends allowed oh we, we'd be so happy to be whoa de lo............. we, we'd be so happy to be together But dreams are nothing more than wishes and a wish is just a dream you wish to come true whoa whoa.......... Dreams are nothing more than wishes and a wish is just a dream you wish to come true whoa whoa woo........ Dreams are nothing more than wishes and a wish is just a dream you wish to come true |
| Wednesday, November 5th, 2008 | | 1:32 am |
I know conservatives aren't entirely disappointed tonight. I'm quite certain they're looking forward to all the bitching they get to do for the next four years. |
| Tuesday, November 4th, 2008 | | 9:15 pm |
Things have been kind of nuts lately. I could have never seen any of this coming. Lots of things have been flipped on their heads and spun around. Shit happening to me lately has seemed so surreal that I swear I could wake up at any moment with everything back to normal. Not that it's a bad thing- I love when they start pumping the insane-o gas through the vents. Unfortunately, I can't be anymore specific at the time being because some things are just too crazy to mention right now. Well, I started watching Elf and other christmas movies right after halloween. The christmas spirit has already hit me hard. However, while listening to the home alone soundtrack at work today, my co-workers gave me shit saying I was jumping the gun and I have at least a couple more weeks before I can get away with this. Whatever. They've been selling trees and decorations for two months already. I need to find a group to go caroling with this year and buy a santa suit for the santa march. Don't be surprised if I move to chicago in a month. It would only be for a couple months, though. I miss the guys like crazy and can't wait til they get back. I hope we get a house when they do come back home. The two weeks before they left were a little insane and I did some shit I never thought I would in the name of a fair send-off. In the next couple days I'll be posting a video of the Edward 40-hands battle on facebook. I also managed to knock an item off my bucket list before they left: Eat Until I Throw Up. We went to golden corral with the intention of eating til the point of bursting, like the fat guy in se7en. Before that weekend, "I'm gonna eat til I throw up" was nothing more than a saying. We made it a truth. I ate til the point where I couldn't take anymore food in my mouth... then I ate about 4 more plates. It was awful. I felt my heart skipping beats and I was sure death lurked around the corner. With no vomit in sight, we headed back to the guy's apartment, only to end up painting a good stretch of barrett parkway with our stomach contents. This is life and I'm livin it, baby! I wish I could be there to see the look on my grandma's face when they tell her a black guy is president. |
| Monday, November 3rd, 2008 | | 12:39 am |
I know this is probably gonna look fucking stupid, but I'm seriously considering growing out my bangs a la devil lock style. |
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